dear universe*

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for the blessings:

 

sunshine.good books.best friends.amazing community.incredible 

mentors.dark chocolate.inspiring blogs.a beautiful healthy family.

my niece or nephew growing in my dear friend’s belly.

 

and for the lessons: 

 

a grief filled day.kitchen burns.deep longing for someone i miss 

terribly.stomach pains.loneliness.

 

thank you.

mirror image*

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“i honestly don’t understand how you and (insert name of a friend here) became friends. they’re so not like you …”

i cannot tell you how many times i have heard the very same phrase from so many different people (friends, family, loves, co-workers). i can honestly say that i have probably heard it from everyone that i have introduced to a different social circle in my life. they’re so not like you…

mostly, i just smile and shrug it off. but lately, this statement has been hitting a nerve with me. not necessarily in a bad way, but more in a wake-up-and-pay-attention way.

i would like to think that i am an open book, out there for the world to see type of person. i would like to think that i don’t hide any of my personality for anyone, that i am a take it or leave it kind of gal. what do each of my social groups see, that I am not seeing …

after a few days of digging and thinking and ranting and raving, i believe i have come up with the best answer i could possibly come up with. I don’t think i hide or censor myself, I think a specific part of me comes out in each circle. all of the bits and pieces that make me who i am are still there, one just has the opportunity to come out and be the dominant feature. i think that feature is brought forward by the people i am surrounded by.

acting/college friends = social butterfly, a little loud, bright and bubbly

family = bubbly, happy and wickedly funny, but can be somewhat sensitive

co-workers = positive and confident

high school girls = the peace keeper, the confidante

best friend = a combination of all of the above, mixed in with a bit of problem solver and great listener

i think i am a mirror image of my friends, of what i see in them. i don’t hide, i reflect. in that reflection i grow and find new ways of making deeper connections with the ones i love most

currently (2013.01.26)

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digging: one photo scrapbook layouts

drinking: decaf coffee with too much sugar

eating: chocolate covered blueberries

listening: you send me by sam cooke (really digging 50’s music lately)

wearing: my feather necklace and soft white sweater

reading: lots and lots of blogs

feeling: slightly stressed out and a little lonely

weather: mild winter evening, a little windy

wanting: to really get in to scrapbooking again

needing: a vacation, and to see my best friend

wishing: the answers i’m looking for would show up and be crystal clear

thinking: i should spend more time with my mom and dad

enjoying: the e-course i am a part of right now

loving: instagram, more and more every day